Coda for Expectations

I don’t believe that I have ever met people like this. I don’t mean the people themselves, though they are unique and wonderful. I am referring to how we have met each other and gotten to know each other. Share so many meals, so many walks, so many nights together—both out and about or just in a room, on a balcony—and you have to know them. A few people were familiar with each other, but I don’t know if anyone knew another person all that well before this experience. Maybe I only say that because after this experience, after learning about people so intimately, the way that we used to know another person in this group seems trivial. Maybe I’m more so just speaking for myself and projecting myself into others. Whatever. Deal with it. Focus, Matt. What are you saying? I’m saying that we had to actively look for common ground. We are all writers and we share some interests, but that does not mean conversation and understanding will fall into our laps. I think we’ve all put some effort into connecting with each other. At dinners, one can be sure that a set of questions will be asked of the entire table. A question that comes from pure curiosity, pure desire to connect, to learn more about each other. To understand something new about you and you and you and you and you and me. And you can expect genuine, thoughtful answers. “If you had to be of another race/ethnicity/heritage across time, what would it be?” Renee would be ancient Egyptian. “What is your greatest fear?” For Kody, it’s spiders. “How many stories have you written that you can look at and say ‘Yes, I am proud of that. That is good.’?” Taylor and I, in our drunkenness at the start of this trip, gave ourselves “Three to five.” Personally, I’m not sure my number is that high, anymore. “When do you know that this is a girl that is worth a relationship?” We’ve traveled together. There may be no greater, quicker, truer way of seeing someone for what they are than when traveling with them. We quote each other more than we quote ourselves. We’ve made movies together. We’ve written together. Spent nights scattered across room 53 bent over each other’s manuscripts. Been caught in the rain. I know these people like I would never know them had we met and stayed in Chicago. I know these guys in ways I probably don’t know some of my closest friends. And you know what, that may be one of the best things to come out of this trip. I love you. I won’t miss you. I’ll be seeing you all.