By Joe Dooley
Often times, Valentine’s Day can put a lot of pressure on college students. Like it or not, everyone is expected to have a date, be in love, or at least reveal attraction to another person. Like other holidays, Valentine ’s Day has outward expressions or symbols that that represent one person’s love for another: candy, roses, love letters, etc. While many people enjoy the holiday because of it’s serendipitous effects on our brain (for example, chocolate releases serotonin, a chemical that helps maintain elevated mood in our brain) and the pleasant emotional experiences associated with Valentine’s day, there are many people who do not enjoy it. Simply put, many College students are lonely and not involved in intimate romantic relationships during a day that society has singled out (pardon the pun) for romance. Thus, many students feel frustrated, depressed, and alone on a day that is supposed to encourage feelings of joy, elation, and companionship. Anyone see a problem here?
Alternatives to enjoy Valentine's Day are are numerous, when you start to think about it; there are many creative ways to enjoy Valentine ’s Day if you're single. Here are five alternative ideas to spend Valentine’s Day if you happen to find yourself single this year.
1.Plan a movie fest: Invite some friends over and plan a movie marathon. You can spend the night snacking, watching great movies, and catching up with friends. What’s wrong with letting yourself relax and enjoying a night off? You do not need a boyfriend or girlfriend to do this!
2. Cook yourself a nice dinner: Use the kitchen in your residence hall, your friend’s apartment, or any kitchen you have access to. After spending an hour or so putting together a nice meal for yourself and some friends, it’s almost impossible not to feel wonderful about yourself.
3. Throw an "alternative" Valentine ’s Day party: Most likely, you may not be the only person that isn’t 100% thrilled with Valentine’s day. The solution? Plan an alternative Valentine ’s Day party for your friends to poke fun at cupid and demonstrate that singles can have an equally good time (if not better).
4. Become more organized. While this idea may seem boring at first, think about it: when was the last time you woke up feeling totally put together? Instead of complaining about being single, choose to use your time productively to get yourself more organized. Clean up your calendar, do some laundry, plan ahead for major papers and midterms, or get a head start on some assignments you’ve been avoiding. You might be surprised at how good you feel after you’re done.
5. Set up an online dating profile: Truthfully, you may be single and be at peace with that fact. However, you may also have a longing to change that single status. Spend some quality time at your computer setting up an online dating profile. You never know what may happen!
For more information go to www.collegelife.about.com
By Joe Dooley
With Valentine’s Day approaching, many people have love on their minds. While most people worry about following through with logistical details so that their plans go smoothly (like "What am I gonna wear?" or "I hope he/she likes this restaurant!"), it's easy to forget about ways to ensure that they are safe during this important day. Making sure that you're safe is important not only on Valentine’s Day, but on any date in general. How can you expect to have an enjoyable date when your safety is in jeopardy?
Here are 10 simple suggestions to help ensure that your dating experiences on Valentine’s Day-or any day- remain as safe as possible:
1. Tell someone where you’re going, and when you’ll be back. You don’t have to tell all the juicy details, but make sure you let someone know what your plans are.
2. Drive yourself or agree to meet your date somewhere. While having your date pick you up may seem appropriate, it can also leave you isolated if the date is not going well and you want to leave.
3. Go with another couple. If you aren’t certain that you're interested in someone, go with a group of people. You can disguise your uncertainty (“I’d enjoy going to a new restaurant, and some of my friends are going.”) while making sure you aren’t stuck alone.
4. Go somewhere public. As romantic as a candlelight dinner at your date’s apartment may sound, it’s not a good idea if you do not know this person very well. Meet in a public, well-lit area during your first few dates.
5. Use alcohol responsibly. If you’re old enough to be drinking, you’re old enough to handle it like an adult. Avoid getting yourself into a situation you didn’t plan on due to alcohol intoxication.
6. Say "no." Don’t want to grab drinks after dinner? Don’t want to order dessert? You have the right to say “no” at any point on your date, and you don’t have to worry about sounding rude. There are a variety of ways to say “no” nicely!
7. Listen to your gut. While it may sound cliché, listen to your gut feeling if someone or something doesn’t feel right. It’s there for a reason.
8. Watch your drink. Keeping an eye on your drink means that someone else can’t slip something into it and change your plans for the evening without you knowing about it.
9. Carry extra cash. Example: at first, everything seemed great, but things took a turn for the worse faster than you could believe. Now you’re stuck at a noisy, overpriced club and just want to escape. Having cash available in your wallet makes catching a cab or bus that much easier.
10. Agree to check in with a friend at a certain time. If you don’t want to worry about calling someone, have them call you. Decide beforehand the language you can use to say if it’s going well or not. For example, having your roommate call you because she’s “suddenly sick” is a great way to slip out of a bad date early. Just be sure to answer the phone when your friend calls.
For more information go to www.collegelife.about.com
by Amy Freier
Aside from November earning the title of “National Peanut Butter Lover's Month” and “National Raisin Bread Month,” November and December may as well be unofficially christened as “National Eat-Your-Weight-in-Holiday-Cheer Month.” But let’s not forget that November is also “Good Nutrition Month.” We’d all love to stay home and indulge in the delicious cuisines of the holiday season but, come January, we may be regretting that eighth turkey leg. In fact, according to a recent Weight Watchers report, the average American gains around 7-10 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day. Barring the occasional and inevitable holiday splurge, here are some tips to staying healthy and fit during the holiday season:
• Exercise: Getting out of bed on a cold and blustery day is the last thing on your mind during the holidays, but take the extra time you have since you’re not in classes to get into a regular exercise routine. It will help burn off the extra fat and calories you consume over winter break. Even getting 30 minutes per day will have a positive impact on your physical fitness; instead of driving (or taking the CTA), take a brisk walk and do your errands! It’ll count towards your daily exercise regimen.
• Plan ahead for the parties: If you are going to a big party or dinner, don't starve yourself all day in anticipation—you may be more likely to eat everything in sight once you get there. Instead, have some low-fat, healthy snacks throughout the day. By doing this, you'll be less likely to over-indulge while you’re out. Also, try and compensate for the possible indulgence by eating healthier in the days leading up to the event.
• Watch your portion sizes: Refraining from piling your plate with just the marshmallow topping of candied yams may seem near impossible (if not downright masochistic), but let’s try to remember portion sizes. Instead, try having a little bit of everything, and be sure to include fruits and vegetables. This way, you’re still indulging, while also getting proper nutrients.
• Moderate alcohol intake: A survey done by the BBC found that more than a quarter of people surveyed said they ended up drinking three times more than usual during the holidays. That equates to 80 extra drinks over the course of the average holiday. Don’t forget that alcohol is calorie- and carbohydrate-laden, and are sometimes the veiled culprit for your holiday belly. Try and control your alcohol intake and, like food, try not to overindulge. Check out your grocery for some lower-calorie or lower-carbohydrate alternatives.
For more information on healthy holiday eating and the information provided here, visit:
http://www.betterhealthusa.com
http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?forumID=6928&edition=2&ttl=20091007143513
by Amy Freier
So, you’ve gotten your head wrapped around the idea of staying healthy over the holidays…now what? For some, the best ways to stay motivated in a healthy lifestyle is to be as involved as possible in the process. Contributing a recipe to the dinner spread is one way to enjoy your healthier holiday season. Here are 2 recipes of healthy alternatives to traditional holiday recipes to wow your family and friends with. Instead of eating fried, sour-cream drenched latkes OR hyper-sweetened marshmallow yams, check these out…FYI- they’re just as flavorful and easy to make.
Oven-Baked Potato Latkes: By simply switching the fryer for the oven, you’ll be reducing the fat intake of these Hanukkah treats enormously. Try this recipe from Slashfood.com instead!
1 lb. russet or Yukon Gold potatoes
1 small, sweet onion
1 large egg
1tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
3 tbsp all-purpose flour
Preheat oven to 425°. Wash and dry potatoes and remove the dry, outer skin from the onion. Grate potatoes and onion. Place mixture in a colander or sieve and press down firmly with a paper towel to remove some of the excess moisture. Stir potato mixture and repeat. Transfer potato mixture to a large bowl and stir in the egg. In a small bowl, mix together the baking powder, salt and flour, then stir that in as well. Drop latke mixture in 2-3 tbsp measures, forming 2-3 inch pancakes that are about 1/4 inch thick on a lightly oiled baking sheet. Bake for 15-20 minutes, then turn the pancakes over, and bake for an additional 10 minutes. Latkes should be deep gold on both sides when done, so add a minute or two to the baking time, if necessary. Makes about 16 latkes, enough for 4 as a side.
Thyme-Roasted Sweet Potatoes: Who knew that underneath the mound of gooey marshmallows, a super-vegetable was hiding? Sweet potatoes are very low in saturated fat and cholesterol, and are a great source of potassium, fiber, and vitamins B6, A, and C. Here’s a healthy alternative to the classic candied yams from Epicurious.com:
4 medium sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into 1 1/2-inch-thick rounds
3 tablespoons olive oil
4 large garlic cloves, minced
1/3 cup fresh thyme leaves, plus 6 thyme sprigs for garnish
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
Preheat oven to 450°F. In large mixing bowl, combine all ingredients and toss. Arrange potato slices in single layer on heavyweight rimmed baking sheet or in 13x9-inch baking dish. Place on top rack of oven and roast until tender and slightly browned, about 40 minutes. Serve warm or at room temperature, garnished with thyme sprigs.
For healthier holiday recipes like those seen here, visit:
http://www.betterhealthusa.com
http://www.slashfood.com
http://www.epicurious.com
By Megan Fuller
So, you decided to come to Columbia College Chicago for your higher education! Great choice- you knew that there was no other option for you. Unfortunately your boyfriend/girlfriend made a different choice, and now you find yourself in the dreaded Long Distance Relationship (LDR). It’s a situation no one ever willingly chooses, but life threw you a curve and now you and your partner have to make a decision: do we end the relationship or do we attempt to make it work regardless of the distance?
That’s the first question that needs to be answered: do you like the person enough to stick with them? LDR’s are tough- there is no getting around that- but they are not impossible if the two people are fully committed on making it work. This month’s Psychobabble is meant to give you some tips, hints, and ideas to make the most out of your LDR, but also to have you start thinking if it’s the right choice for you and your partner… especially if it’s causing more harm than good mentally, emotionally, and financially.
All right, you and your partner have made the decision to stay together. You went through the tearful goodbye and you got to college. It’s a lot harder than you expected it to be and its most likely increasing your homesickness. The impulse/desire is to hole yourself up in your room crying into the teddy bear he/she gave you and have 5 hour long conversations over the phone gushing about your love for each other and how much you miss each other. That sort of behavior might be OK for the first couple of days, but pretty soon it’s going to become destructive. You’re in college now; not only does college require way more study-time than high school did, but this is your time to grow and become a self sufficient, independent person. This is also the time when close friends are a necessity, and being attached to your cell phone won’t help you make these friends. Not interacting with other students will only increase your loneliness. LDR’s are all about finding a balance. Missing the person is inevitable, but missing them cannot be your entire life. If you feel like you can’t participate in daily activities because you’re sad and lonely, talk to a friend or come into Counseling Services for some help. Relationships near and far are supposed to add joy and happiness to your life, even if they are not easy, and the good should outweigh the bad. You and your partner need to be open with each other, discuss the struggles of being far apart, and always keep each others’ best interests at heart. There are ways to make long distance relationships work (see Part II) if you and your partner are willing to put the time and effort into it and, if not, perhaps this LDR isn’t right for you both at the present time.
For more tips, benefits, ideas and support go to:
http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Long-Distance-Relationship-Work
http://www.lovingfromadistance.com/thingsforldrcouplestodo.html
http://www.coupledtogether.com/blog/
By Megan Fuller
As stated previously, LDR’s are difficult, but there are some benefits to them and different ways to make them enjoyable. A few benefits of LDR’s are independence and better time management. In these relationships you are free to pursue your passions and create friendships independently. This is crucial in college when your number one priority is to develop yourself as an individual, not as an enmeshed couple. You don’t need to work around someone else’s schedule and, in general, you get to do your own thing, your partner does his/her own thing, and both people can flourish and grow.
Another benefit is travel and the ability to stay in the “honeymoon stage” a bit longer. Visiting your significant other is like a mini vacation. It’s a chance to get away from everyday of life for a few days and the excitement and anticipation of that first hug and kiss drives is palpable. Tip: during your visits together exchange personal items to have something of each other’s to hold on to until you meet again. For example, ask your boyfriend for one of his sweatshirts, so on cold mornings you can wear it to class, not only will it smell like him, but you will feel comforted that he’s keeping you warm.
Here are some other tips on how to make the LDR work. The most important one is to be realistic and flexible. You cannot expect that you both will have the ability to have three hour long conversations with each other every night of the week. Life will get in the way! Tests need to be studied for, friends need to be included, a social life must be had on the weekends, and that annoying thing called sleep must still be a priority. Be realistic, though you should try to connect with your partner someway at least once a day. Remind each other that you’re thinking about one another and even if life is a hectic they are still important to you. Keeping the emotional connection, however you can, is really important. Text each other, write e-mails, get web cams, write love letters, or send care packages. This is also a benefit, for when the two of you are finally together in person, your communication skills should be much better than other couples who get to see each other every day!
Try really hard not to get jealous. Trust is crucial. One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. It always helps if you go into a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worthy of trust until proven otherwise. Don't interrogate your partner every time he/she decides to go out with people you haven't met or because he/she didn't get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a LDR, your lives won't pause. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he/she lives and so should you. Sure, it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naïve, but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship. You should both maintain your social activities and be happy with yourselves.
If the relationship has genuine lasting potential, than don’t be afraid to discuss the future. Talking about the future (and when the two of you will finally be able to be close to each other) gives you both something to look forward to. This will also help prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain. This is important to remember because LDR’s have a different dynamic and can be harder to maintain and enjoy. The absence of touch and having a physical presence can put a strain on even the strongest relationships. The two of you must reassure each other that you are both in this together and you can both see a future together, and remember it will get better! Discuss the long term future but also continue to plan when the two of you can see each other again. Always knowing when you get to see your favorite person again will make the time between visits more manageable. On the flip side of this, realize that it requires a balance. It’s healthy and a good idea to be very excited to see your boyfriend/girlfriend again but you can’t let that be your only source of happiness or let the days in between visits just be “fillers.” Remember, this is your time to find happiness both within your relationship and independently, and you will be much happier with your partner once you can be happy on your own as well. On that note, another important tip is to stay positive! You found someone to love who loves you back; that’s the most important thing. The distance is hard, but there is a light at the end of this tunnel.
For more tips, benefits, ideas and support go to:
http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Long-Distance-Relationship-Work
http://www.lovingfromadistance.com/thingsforldrcouplestodo.html
http://www.coupledtogether.com/blog/
By Amy Freier
Most of us have to put in enormous amount of effort to get back into a school routine—a challenging feat, especially right after a three months hiatus during summer. Unless the idea of jumping head first into balancing demanding classes, study hours, and some sort of a social life seems like a walk in the park, we could all use some tips to make the back-to-school transition a little bit easier. Whether you’re an incoming freshman, transfer student, or a well-seasoned “Columbia College Chicago-an”, these suggestions are for you!
Create a Routine
Coming back from summer, you have a clean slate—and a clean schedule. Since your calendar is mostly void of all things hectic, it’s important to try to start the school year off on the right track. The faster you’re able to establish a routine (i.e. determine class schedule, study hours, and social time), the sooner you’ll begin to feel settled, and the less stressed you may feel. Here are some quick ideas to think about*:
• Put limits on work hours
• Give yourself a break—you’ll feel replenished after you’ve given yourself time to regroup
• Be realistic with your schedule—you’re not superman/woman/student!
• Understand you can’t do everything you might want to
• Learn time management skills—give yourself plenty of time to start and finish your projects, study, and homework
Be Sure to Balance
Parallel to creating a routine is finding that balance that both your mind and your body agree with. If you find that your schedule is just too overwhelming, or your routine is getting monotonous, try to change one thing you do every day. Perhaps it means starting your day ten minutes early to enjoy a healthy breakfast rather than sleeping those ten minutes and grabbing a donut in a hurry. No matter what you decide to change to find your balance, it’s important to learn what your body and mind can handle, and what it can’t.
Look Forward (to Having Fun!!)
It may seem inane, but actually thinking ahead to fun events might inevitably improve your mood. While you may be overwhelmed with the process of scheduling classes and moving in to your new home, take some time to think about the year ahead of you (or if the idea of planning a year in advance freaks you out—the weekend) and come up with some ideas for you and your friends to relax and have some fun. Chicago has countless activities that will certainly pique your interest. Visit http://chicago.metromix.com for Chicago’s schedule of events and fun finds.
Bring Along a Part of Home
Even though you might be leaving behind someone or something important when you go away to college, there is no reason to not be able to bring a little part of that person, place, or thing along with you. Keepsakes from home like pictures, a blanket, or Mom’s recipe for chicken cacciatore are all pleasant reminders that you’re always connected, and that the sweet taste of comfort is a mere oven timer away.
For more information about these Back to School issues, visit:
http://www.rncentral.com/nursing-library/careplans/101_health_and_wellness_tips_for_college_students
http://psychcentral.com/newsletter/issue008/back_to_school.htm
http://chicago.metromix.com/
By Amy Freier
You’ve started college—you’ve finally escaped the death grip your parents have had on you for eighteen-or-so years. You’re an adult now, which means that you don’t have to listen to your parents nagging about chores and curfew. They have done their job, and now it’s time to let go, releasing you into a world where you live only by your rules…right?
Odds are, your parents won’t let you get off that easy. You’re still their kid and, for some, you depend on them for financial support as well as emotional support. While your parents might be more than excited for you to begin an exciting stay here at Columbia College, let’s not forget how they may be feeling now that their love and joy has fled the nest. While your parents may want to call you five times a day, you may think once every two weeks is more appropriate. Because you are a mature, responsible college student, let’s put those adult skills to work and compromise with your parents. Setting boundaries might seem like a daunting task, but taking initiative to openly talk with your parents about expectations can reaffirm your responsibility. And let’s face it, the sooner you talk to your parents about them filling up your voicemail box, the better you will feel. Don’t forget—while you may be having the time of your life, your parents probably want to touch base with you on a regular basis. Here are some simple ways to keep in touch, and keep your voicemail open.
• Call them, and take their calls when they call you
• Send emails
• Send text messages
• Have a set time to call
• Set a number of days you can go without contacting them
It is difficult for some parents to accept that their child has left them, and can lead to feelings of sadness. These feelings of sadness can lead to depression, an experience called empty nest syndrome. Empty nest syndrome is defined as a general feeling of loneliness that parents or guardians may feel when one or more of their children leave home. While it may seem like your mom or dad is simply pestering you with phone calls, he or she may very well be experiencing very profound and deeply unsettling emotions with your absence. Psychologists find that empty nest syndrome affects more women than men, since mothers traditionally provide the primary care to children. They also find, in mothers especially, when the caregiver realizes that his/her most important role (raising their child) is over, a feeling of inadequacy and panic surfaces. Your parent might consequently question his/her purpose and wonder what the next step is now that the kids have left. Some symptoms to look for in your parent include:
• Excessive crying
• Panic
• Loss of interest in activities
• Excessive calling
Of course, confronting your parent suffering from empty nest syndrome may be challenging, so it is important to be sensitive and understanding. If you notice any significant change in emotion or are worried about your parent or guardian, do not hesitate to contact Counseling Services at 312-369-8700; we can help you to work through this experience.
By Emma Rhodes
If any of these apply to you, seek medical advice and treatment.
1) Sleep Apnea – Caused by an obstruction of the airway during sleep that can result in snoring and inadequate amounts of deep sleep. Associated with high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, headaches and persistent sleepiness.
2) Periodic Limb Movement Disorder – Involuntary movement of limbs during sleep.
3) Sleepwalking – Walking, talking, or doing anything that normally requires consciousness while sleeping.
4) Night Terrors – Gasping, screaming, or moaning during sleep that is not the result of a nightmare. Night terrors are not conscious events and are rarely remembered.
5) Bruxism – Involuntarily grinding or clenching of the teeth while sleeping.
6) Rapid Eye Movement Behavior Disorder – Physical acting out of violent or dramatic dreams while in REM sleep.
7) Sleep Paralysis – Temporary paralysis of the body that occurs shortly before or after sleep.
By Emma Rhodes
Have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or staying awake during the day? Studies show that young adults have the highest prevalence of insomnia out of any other age group. College students are particularly vulnerable to insomnia, since they do things like pull all-nighters, sleep until noon, and live with noisy or nocturnal roommates. Not getting enough quality sleep can carry some pretty hefty consequences, like falling asleep in class, irritability, bad driving, anxiety, and a general sluggishness that makes it hard to accomplish anything. Luckily, there are some pretty simple ways to get more sleep and wake up feeling fantastic (OK, maybe not fantastic, but at least you’ll be able to wake up).
By now you’re probably wondering what "sleep hygiene" is and what could possibly by hygienic about sleep? The term sleep hygiene basically refers to a set of healthy behaviors that help you get the most out of your sleep cycle. In the same way that dental hygiene keeps your teeth healthy, sleep hygiene helps you achieve healthy sleep patterns. The fundamental idea behind sleep hygiene is that having routine bedtime “rituals” and guidelines for sleep behavior will help establish more consistent and healthy sleep. Consider these a set of guidelines for getting the best sleep possible.
The first rule of sleep hygiene is do not go to bed unless you are sleepy. If it’s getting late but you’re not tired, try doing something that is pleasant and relaxing but not too stimulating, like reading a magazine or listening to calming music. A lot of people like to watch TV before bed, but studies show that TV is too stimulating and tends to keep people awake. If you need some sort of noise to fall asleep, try listening to the radio or sound machine. The goal here is to relax your body and distract your mind, so you aren’t so focused on being awake.
So what happens if you start to feel tired, get in bed and still can’t fall asleep? Easy. If you’re not asleep within 20 minutes, get out of bed and start over. More specifically, leave your bedroom and try another relaxing activity. The more time you spend in bed trying to sleep, the harder it’s going to be. The same rules apply if you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t fall back asleep; staying in bed will only make it worse. In fact, another sleep hygiene tip is to only use your bed for sleep and sex (safe sex, that is). Refrain from studying, eating, watching TV, or talking on the phone while in bed. Your body needs to learn that the bed is a place for sleep and it’s never going to get the message if you use it for other things (sex is OK because it makes you sleepy and no one wants you doing it on the couch).
In addition to limiting your in-bed activities, there are certain things you should not do within 4-6 hours of bedtime, including exercising, drinking alcohol, eating certain foods, ingesting caffeine or nicotine, and taking naps. Exercise is great, and regularly exercising during the afternoon can actually help improve the quality of sleep, but too much physical activity in the evening can keep you from falling asleep. Specific foods and drinks may also be bad for your sleep cycle, like spicy or sugary foods and alcohol. Eating these types of food can affect your ability to stay asleep and, while alcohol may make you sleepy, it reduces the amount of time spent in REM sleep (that’s the best kind). Stimulants like caffeine and nicotine are designed to keep you awake, so even though a cup of coffee and a cigarette may sound like heaven on earth after a good meal, it’s not doing your sleep any favors. Napping is another behavior that most people are reluctant to give up. Sadly, it can be the biggest culprit when it comes to insomnia. Most people who don’t sleep at night feel very tired during the day and nap in an attempt to catch up on sleep, but this ends up making it even harder to fall asleep and night and perpetuating the original problem.
In addition to things you should not do before bedtime, here are a few suggestions for things you should. First, try to get up at the same time every morning (yes, this means weekends, too). If the temptation to sleep in on Saturday is too strong, try keeping it consistent during the week. If worrying keeps you up, set aside time during your day specifically for the purpose of worrying, so that all of those nagging thoughts don’t interfere with your sleep time. Also, find a relaxing activity that you can do before bed and try to do it every night, right before you get in bed. These kinds of rituals can help prime your body for sleep, making you less likely to toss and turn. Finally, make your room dark and quiet; this will eliminate sensory distractions and let you snooze in peace.
If you try these suggestions and still have sleepless nights, you may have a more severe form of insomnia that requires treatment at a sleep center. For a list of sleep centers in Chicago, visit www.sleepcenters.org.
By Noah Yulish
“That kid is bouncing off the walls, he should really take his Ritalin.”
How many times have we said this when observing some hyper child causing a hullabaloo? This phrase assumes the kid has ADHD- Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder- but what does that really mean? Unfortunately, this is not so easy to answer because there are many different ways in which ADHD can present itself. There are three core symptoms which may all be present, but only one or any combination of the 3 are possible. These core symptoms are: distractibility, impulsivity, and restlessness. You might be thinking that I didn’t say hyperactivity, and that’s because people with ADHD aren’t always hyper. One paradoxical fact about people with ADHD is that if you put something in front of them that they like, they might hyper-focus and at times be incapable of focusing on anything else.
This is a general list of the feel of ADHD:*
• High mental and physical energy coupled with exhaustion at times
• A fast-moving, easily distracted mind coupled with superfocus at times
• Trouble remembering, planning, and anticipating
• Unpredictable and impulsive
• Highly creative
• Lack of inhibition compared to others
• Disorganization coupled with amazing organization in particular areas
• A tendency toward procrastination coupled with an "I must do it" or "have it now" attitude
• A high intensity attitude alternating with a foggy one
• Forgetfulness coupled with an extraordinary recall of certain (often irrelevant) events or info
• Passionate interests coupled with an inability to arouse any interest
• Original, zany way of looking at the world
• Irritability coupled with being very compassionate and tender
• Tendency to self medicate with alcohol or other drugs or addictive activities like gambling, shopping, sex, eating, or risk-taking coupled with abstaining altother at times
• Tendency to worry unnecessarily coupled with a tendency to not worry enough
• Tendency to be a non-conformist
• Tendency to reject help from others coupled with wanting to give help to others
• Generosity that goes too far
• Tendency to repeat mistakes without learning from them
• Tendency to underestimate the time it takes to complete a task
• Various other ingredients, none of which dominates all the time, and any one of which may be absent in a single individual
Yes- we can all have these problems. The difference for those with ADHD is that their symptoms are more intense and have much greater duration. Furthermore, ADHD is physiological. People with ADHD have underdeveloped parts of the brain that result in the symptoms of poor organization, impulsiveness, time management, decision-making, mood regulation, and attention. Telling someone with ADHD to “just try harder” to pay attention or become more organized usually isn’t helpful, because its a true disorder and not just the culmination of bad habits or laziness. Does this mean people with ADHD cannot succeed? Absolutely not. Check out this list of people with confirmed (or suspected) cases of ADHD:
Albert Einstein
Thomas Edison
John F. Kennedy
Stevie Wonder
Steven Spielberg
General Patton
Wright Brothers
Benjamin Franklin
Robin Williams
Dustin Hoffman
Frank Lloyd Wright
Vincent Van Gogh
Whoopie Goldberg
Mariel Hemingway
Ann Bancroft
Agatha Christie
A big part of a person’s success in curbing ADHD symptoms is learning to work with his/her disability and own it. If you think you may have ADHD, come to Counseling Services to discuss your concerns. In addition to providing you with information about ADHD, Counseling Services may recommend that you undergo special testing to confirm whether you have ADHD or not, as some of the symptoms overlap with other mental health issues. ADHD can be treated and it doesn’t have to overwhelm one’s life. See Part II for more discussion on what to do of you have ADHD.
* Sources for this article are:
http://www.adhdrelief.com/famous.html
Delivered from Distraction – by Edward M. Hallowell and John J. Ratey
Learning Outside the Lines – by Jonathan Mooney and David Cole
by Noah Yulish
Key ingredients for a plan of success in treating ADHD:*
• Diagnosis – get a proper ADHD diagnosis by a professional (you can start this process at Counseling Services). If you get an ADHD diagnosis you can shed the labels of lazy, weak, undisciplined, or bad.
• Identify talents and strengths – MOST IMPORTANT! ADHDers usually know their shortcomings from years of school and frustrated parents, peers, and teachers, while talents and strengths are camouflaged by what’s been wrong.
• Five step plan that promotes talents and strengths:
1. Connect – with a teacher, coach, mentor, lover, friend, because this will make it safe to go to step 2
2. Play – Any activity that lights your brain up and gets your imagination running. This is an activity that is beneficial and NOT the prickly itch of dangerous activities.
3. Practice – Once you find something you love, do it over and over and over…
4. Mastery – As you practice you get better at an activity and eventually master it, and this is when you get recognition…
5. Recognition – Once you’ve mastered something you will become connected to other people who recognize you for your accomplishments. These people value you which in turn puts you back at step 1 of connecting, and keep repeating these steps!
If there is one rule to follow for ADHD: Find out what you are good at, and do it!
• Education – Diagnosis means “to know through,” so as you educate yourself about ADHD you gradually “know through” this condition and how it lives in you. The more you know about your life and mind the better able you will be able to improve your life.
• Search for hidden strengths – What if I’m only good at dangerous activities? Everyone has a talent that can be turned into a positive thing. If you are good at selling drugs, you have entrepreneurial and sales skills and should look into a legal business career. If you like driving 110 down the highway, you might like high risk fields like being an investigative reporter or working for a personal protection company. If you are good at playing video games, look to design games. If you can’t find anything ask for help. ADHD people are bad at advocating for themselves.
• Structure – Create habit or use an external device to make up for what’s missing internally. ADHD people are low on mental filling cabinets, so get filling cabinets. Or if you lose your keys, get a basket near the front door and make a habit of putting them in the basket as you walk in. These can be more effective than any medication
• Lifestyle changes
1. Positive human contact – possibly more important than a good nights sleep or proper diet!
2. Reduce electronics – studies show that too much worsens ADHD symptoms
3. Sleep – Enough sleep is the amount of sleep that allows you to wake without an alarm clock
4. Diet – Protein is the best long-lasting source of brain fuel. Don’t self-medicate with drugs, alcohol, or carbohydrates
5. Exercise – Regular exercise is one of the best tonics for your brain. Exercise stimulates the production of epinephrine, dopamine, and serotonin…which is exactly what medication will do, by the way.
6. Prayer or meditation – Both will help to calm and focus the brain
• Get coaching, tutoring, or counseling – Advocate for yourself! It’s hard to ask for help but it will pay off to get some direction and help.
• Combine therapies – Just like wanting to lose weight, it is a combination of will power, diet, exercise, and sometimes looking for help. ADHD is no different; a combination of medication, diet, exercise, and coaching will give you the best opportunities for success.
Here are 2 books to read if you want to learn more about ADHD and do well in school:
Delivered from Distraction – by Edward M. Hallowell and John J. Ratey . Written by 2 doctors who both have ADHD, and who write it for the ADHD reader.
Learning Outside the Lines – by Jonathan Mooney and David Cole. Written by 2 guys who graduated from Brown University, both of whom have ADHD and other Learning Disabilities, and both of whom had unbelievable challenges to success growing up. This book gives excellent options for alternative ways to completing school work.
*Sources for this article come from:
Delivered from Distraction by Edward M. Hallowell and John J. Ratey
Learning Outside the Lines by Jonathan Mooney and David Cole
Check out our brand-new therapy groups, and see if one is right for you!
Emotional Education
Many students struggle with feeling depressed and anxious. Join us and learn how to deal with these feelings through proven effective exercises and techniques. Emotional Education is held on the following Thursdays:
April 2, 9, 16, 23, 30
May 7
5-6 p.m.
731 South Plymouth Court, Suite 112
Non-Traditional Student Drop-in
As a Columbia student, no one wants to be the same. Everyone strives to be different. But sometimes, it can be stressful to be different. As a non-traditional student, you have atypical life obstacles as compared to the average student. Whether your juggling kids and school, home from a tour in Iraq, older than the average college student, or you’ve come back to school and feel disconnected - whatever the case may be, drop in to Counseling Services’ special group for students such as you, non-traditional students! Come join us once a month, and we can chat about how to feel more grounded in your Columbia experience. This drop-in group is held on the following Fridays:
February 13
March 13
April 10
May 8
12 – 1 p.m.
731 South Plymouth Court, Suite 112
Don’t Stress About Stress
Join us in identifying the signs and symptoms of stress, as well as, crucial stress-reduction techniques. This group will be on the following Mondays:
April 20, 27
May 4, 11
12-1 p.m.
731 South Plymouth Court, Suite 112
Grief & Loss Support Group
Grief is a difficult but normal response to experiencing a loss in your life. If you're struggling grief, please visit this group and share your stories with others who are also mourning the death of a loved one. This group will be held on the following Tuesdays:
February 10, 17, 24
March 3, 17
5-6pm
731 S. Plymouth Court, Suite 112
Open Studio
Having trouble expressing yourself through words? Join us for an open studio art therapy group and let it all out. It doesn't matter if you're a beginner or a Picasso- as long as you've got a pencil and some emotional baggage, you'll fit right in! Feel free to bring your own art supplies. Paper and charcoal will be provided. Open Studio meets on the following Tuesdays:
February 10, 17, 24
March 3, 10
2:30-3:30pm
623 S. Wabash, room 1017
Gay Men’s Issues Group
The therapy group goal is to increase self-esteem and awareness as it relates to your identity as a gay man. The intent of the group will provide a safe, supportive atmosphere where gay men can begin to heal conflicts and issues dealing with potential topics on coming out, dating, safer sex, substance use, clubbing and having man to man sex. The group is appropriate for anyone who:
-Is a gay male (and a registered student at Columbia)
-Feels frustrated by problems with intimacy and relationships
-Feels depression or anxiety as a result of being gay
-Wants to increase self-esteem and confidence in being a gay man
This group meets on Thursdays, starting April 2 from 12-1 @ 731 S. Plymouth Court, Ste. 112.
If you’re interested in any of these groups, please contact Counseling Services at 312.369.8700 to reserve your spot!
By Emma Rhodes
It’s no secret that Chicago offers up some brutal winters. With fewer hours of daylight, seemingly constant snowfall, gray skies, and subzero temperatures, it can be pretty tempting to take a hint from our animal friends and hibernate until the snow melts and the sun comes out. While it’s normal to experience some symptoms of “cabin fever” or the “winter blues,” some people experience major depression during the winter months in a condition known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).
SAD is a serious psychological condition that is just as troublesome and debilitating as other forms of depression. The only difference is that SAD symptoms are clearly linked to a specific season and are likely to repeat every year. Most people with SAD exhibit symptoms between November and March, with symptoms subsiding as winter ends and spring begins. Some common symptoms of SAD are fatigue, extreme and persistent sadness, oversleeping, overeating (particularly carbohydrates), irritability, difficulty concentrating, lack of interest in normal activities, and social withdrawal. Scientists believe that SAD may be caused by changes in patterns of sunlight, which can alter the body’s internal clock, causing changes in eating and sleeping habits. Other factors, such as social isolation and physical discomfort associated with drops in temperature may also contribute to the development of SAD.
Emotional turmoil during the winter months is not a new phenomenon. The term cabin fever was originally used to describe the restlessness, irritability and excessive sleep seen in sailors and early settlers who found themselves trapped inside for the duration of winter. Most people tend to see changes in their energy levels, eating patterns and moods during the winter, but are able to cope with the changes and go on with their daily lives. These people tend not to seek out medical or psychological treatment, despite experiencing mild symptoms of weight gain, reduced productivity, and oversleeping.
So how do you know if it’s really SAD or just the winter blues? Some people with SAD say that they feel like a completely different person during the winter and exhibit dramatic changes in mood, energy and concentration. Ultimately, the difference between the winter blues and SAD is the severity of symptoms. People with SAD find it hard to function normally, or like they do in the summer, and are markedly distressed by their symptoms. Luckily, SAD is treatable using light therapy, which involves exposure to a very bright specialized light for a period of time everyday. Even mild symptoms of SAD can be alleviated by increased exposure to sunlight. Boosting your mood during the winter months can be as simple as increased physical activity, social interaction, stress management skills, a consistent sleep schedule, and a relaxing vacation to a warmer climate. Other treatments for SAD include anti-depressant medications and cognitive-behavioral therapy. If you notice some of the symptoms of SAD as the temperature drops, here are some tips to keep SAD at bay:
• exercise with a friend
• join a sports team
• run errands when it’s sunny outside
• take a walk during your lunch break or between classes
• go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day
• throw a party to stay connected
• avoid alcohol (remember, it’s a depressant!)
• resist the carbohydrate cravings and opt for something healthy
If you think that you or someone you know might have SAD, make an appointment with Counseling Services to help break the cycle of seasonal depression.
Sources:
Laurie, S.J., Gawinski, B., Pierce, D., Rousseau, S.J. (2006). Seasonal affective disorder. American Family Physician, 74: 1521-4.
Rosenthal, N.E. (2005). Winter blues: Everything you need to know to beat seasonal affective disorder. New York :Guildford Press.
By Emma Rhodes
As the air cools off and trees become bare, it’s important to remember that winter weather brings with it some potential hazards that can easily be avoided. Here are some tips for cold weather safety.
• Wear a hat! Retaining 40% of your body heat is definitely worth dealing with hat head.
• Dress in warm, dry layers. The best combo is cotton or wool for bottom layers, with something insulated and waterproof on top.
• Dry off or change clothes immediately if you get wet. Wearing wet clothes can drop your body temperature dramatically.
• Don’t rely on alcohol to keep you warm. Drinking can make you feel warm, but in reality, it does nothing to protect you from the cold.
• Wear mittens! Mittens keep your hands warmer than gloves and protect against frostbite.
• Skip the stilettos when it’s icy outside. Tons of people end up in the emergency room after slipping on ice. Wear winter boots with good traction.
• Find someone to cuddle up with. It can be easy to feel isolated in the winter, when people are more likely to stay at home. Stay connected with your friends and family, and remember that body heat is the fastest way to warm up!
• Wash your hands. Lots of people have colds in the winter, and germs lurk everywhere. Phones, door knobs, and keyboards are prime habitats for germs. Washing your hands with soap and hot water is a good way to kill off germs, and using antibacterial hand sanitizer is also helpful.
by Noah Yulish
As October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we wanted to focus not merely on the grim statistics of how common domestic violence actually is, but also on things you can do to be aware of potentially manipulative- or dangerous- individuals. Though women are most often the victims of domestic and other types of violence, men are also at risk. Furthermore, violence can occur in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships. We found that Gavin deBecker’s book, The Gift of Fear, is a great resource for how to become aware of patterns and predictors of violent behavior. Highlighted below is his list of “survival signals” given off by people who may not have your best interests in mind; check them out.
Forced Teaming – An effective technique people use to establish trust quickly. Any statement that creates an air of we’re-in-the-same-boat is hard to discount without being rude. Example: A stranger approaches you after you just exited from the Financial Aid office and says “we’ll be paying loans back for the rest of our lives, won’t we?” This casual encounter may seem benign, and in reality it may be. However, this approach can be manipulative, since this seemingly shared experience moves you both past some social barriers. All comments like these are intentional and directed, and by knowing this one can determine how they want the rest of the conversation to go. Some questions to ask yourself: Did you see this stranger in the Financial Aid office? Why is a stranger approaching me with an unsolicited comment? What is my intuition telling me?
Charm and Niceness – de Becker calls charm an ability, not an inherent part of one’s personality. What this means is that charm is a tool designed for rapport building, and like other social tools they almost always have motive. To be charming is to control or persuade people with your allure or attraction. People always put on their best face (usually with a smile) to portray that they are nice, but many a criminal has used charm to his/her advantage. How many news reports on TV have you heard in which neighbors of a person who just committed a horrible crime say, “I’m shocked, he/she was just so nice!” The best defense against manipulative charm and niceness is to keep an open mind. Think of charm and niceness as verbs. Ask yourself, “Is he/she is trying to charm me?” Not that you must deter every approach but being aware of what is actually happening is being safe. Unfortunately in our society, women are expected to be warm and attentive to every approach by a male stranger, and are often viewed as cold or bitch if not. In the case of a man with bad motives, warmth allows him the opportunity to learn more about his victim and how he can eventually gain control. Listen to your intuition; if it is telling you someone is making you uncomfortable it is better ditch warmth and be rude, than be polite and in danger.
Too Many Details – A simple technique people will use to deceive you is that they use too many details. Generally, someone who is telling you the truth will not feel the need to support themselves with extraneous information. The important factor to take note of is the context or situation in which these extra comments are being given. Example: Imagine being hit on at a bar or at a party. The person is being charming and fun to you, but you’re hearing a little too much about this person’s background for having just known the person for an hour. It is important to remember that no matter how charming and polite this person is or how amazing they make you feel, remember the context: He/she approached me, and is trying to charm me with all this info. Don’t trust too soon. And for the person hitting on another- take your time with someone new.
Typecasting – This is a strategy someone uses to influence the other person to engage with them. This strategy, unlike charm, is to catch someone off guard in a slightly insulting/aggressive way. Example: A man approaches a woman and says, “You’re probably too uptight to talk to me?” In turn, this makes the woman feel the need to cast off the label of “uptight” and she tries hard to prove how warm and accepting she is; thus, the man gets what he wants. The best defense for someone to employ with typecasting is silence. If it feels like an insult it is important to remember that it was done with motive. In most cases, a person insults you in the effort to engage you. Your reaction is their goal. Therefore, the best reaction against typecasting is to not react at all.
Loan Sharking – This technique is simply described as someone who offers help but is always calculating the debt. Think of the classic example of a guy offering assistance to a girl with groceries in a veiled attempt at picking her up. The guy expects the girl’s phone number in exchange for helping the girl schlep her groceries. A great defense against loan sharking is to bring two facts into consciousness: This person approached me, and I didn’t ask for help. With that information you can be better prepared for the future, and not caught off guard.
The Unsolicited Promise – We’ve all heard this one before. “Please come to Swing Vote with me, you’ll like it, I promise.” Sorry, but Kevin Costner hasn’t made a good movie since Field of Dreams. Does this highlight how futile a phrase like “I promise” is from a stranger? What does “I promise” even mean? What we do know is that “I promise” is meant to convince. The great thing about an unsolicited promise is that it gives you an opportunity to take a look at what your intuition was telling you in the first place. In the above example provided, the unsolicited promise was harmless. However, these promises are made in potentially dangerous situations. A woman refuses a stranger’s offer to walk her home, he says, “I’ll just walk you to your door, I promise.” A stranger helps a guy with some heavy furniture up to his apartment and then says, “I’ll just bring it in to your living room that’s all, I promise.” The best advice is to reflect your hesitancy to the unsolicited promise. “You’re right, I am hesitant about trusting you, and maybe with good reason. Thank you for pointing it out.”
Discounting the word “NO” – Perhaps the most significant survival signal is discounting the word no. Declining to hear no is a sign that the person is unwilling to give up control or seeking more of it. When you say no, don’t allow the other person to talk you out of it, or negotiate, as it conditions them to talk you out of more control in the future. A decent person will respect another person enough to walk away after someone says no. The best response is to firmly restate, “I said NO!.” Don’t be afraid of coming off as cold or bitchy! You are entitled to set limits with other people, and to have those limits respected.
deBecker explains how all of the previous signals, as you can probably see, are often used by people with no harm intended. Nevertheless, these signals can sometimes be the red flags of danger. Don’t become paranoid of every interaction you have with others, but use these signals to heighten your sense of awareness and safety. Especially because of the fact that women are most often the victims of violent crimes, women should use these signals to empower themselves. deBecker writes that these strategies might be used by men who want little more than to talk with a girl they find attractive, and he goes on to say “I don’t mean to cramp the style of some crude Casanova, but times have changed, and we men can surely develop some approaches that are not steeped in deceit and manipulation.” As a man and the author of this newsletter, I could not agree more.
by Noah Yulish
What is stress?
• Your pupils to dilate and all 5 senses heighten (imagine watching a scary movie, notice how any sound anywhere near you will freak you out)
• Your heart beats faster, while making veins more rigid so that blood flows with more pressure
• Blood is redistributed to essential parts of the body, in this case our muscles.
• The brain also tells blood to stop flowing to parts that are not immediately important:
-skin (people turn white when they are scared)
-digestion (the zebra’s body can’t worry about digesting when it’s possibly going to be someone else’s lunch)
-sex organs (who can think of sex at a time like this!)
• Water is essential to muscle activity, so salvation is inhibited (probably why most of us get severe cotton-mouth before making a speech or asking someone out on a date). The kidneys also absorb water from urine.
• While digestion is inhibited the intestines actually contract. Surely you’ve heard the phrase “I was so scared, I almost peed in my pants!” In reality, this could happen. When you are running for your life, does it make sense to carry around a few extra pounds of waste? The obvious answer is no.
• Very important: since all non-essential processes are shut down, stress also shuts down our immunity systems.
By Rose Sterling
Although most college students have been warned about Internet safety for years, cyberstalking remains a significant danger to users of social networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook. In one year, more than 13% of college women indicated they had been stalked (42% by a boyfriend or ex-boyfriend), and cyberstalking is a form of stalking behavior. Cyberstalking is defined as threatening behaviors or unwanted advances directed at another by using the Internet and other forms of online and computer communications, including e-mails or instant messaging. Cyberstalking can be a frightening experience and can cause psychological trauma, resulting in changing sleep patterns, nightmares, anxiety, helplessness, and hypervigilance. The next time you log into your MySpace of Facebook account, reduce your risk of becoming a victim of cyberstalking by setting your profile to private, and try not to list any personal information such as your class schedule, cell phone number, residential address, or your full name. Unfortunately, sometimes online harassment can’t be prevented, so here are some tips on how to handle it:
-Detach from an escalated or heated online situation by logging off or surfing elsewhere
-Consider blocking or filtering messages from the harasser
-If the situation escalates, contact law enforcement immediately and consider filing a report
-Seek counseling should you feel the need to talk, or simply need more information
Check out www.girlsfightback.org for more info
By Rose Sterling
Domestic violence frequently occurs on college campuses and can happen in straight or gay relationships. Common examples of domestic violence behaviors are belittlement, humiliation, control, and physical or sexual abuse against a romantic partner. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 1 in 4 women will experience some kind of domestic violence in her lifetime. One of the best ways to prevent such violence is to recognize the warning signs early. Some of these warning signs include:
Controlling behaviors, such as telling you what to wear or discouraging you from getting involved in college activities or social groups
Belittling you in public or private settings, or calling you insulting names
Threatening comments that involves hurting you or others
Forcing you to have sex when you don’t want to
Physical abuse, such as shoving, punching, kicking, or slapping
Stalking behavior, such as a person following you, snooping, leaving you notes/objects, telephone harassment, or property damage
If you think you are in an abusive relationship or concerned about a friend who might be, here are some tips that may prove helpful:
-Let family or friends know when you are afraid or need help
-Memorize important phone numbers and places to go in an emergency
-Seek help from an RA or from Counseling Services
-Offer your friendship and support
-Educate yourself about dating violence and healthy relationships
-Do not be afraid to call 911 if need be!!
Check out www.ncvc.org (National Center for Vivtims of Crime) for more info
By Rose Sterling
According to the National Center for Victims of Crime, college students- regardless of age, gender, race, or sexual orientation- are more vulnerable to rape than any other age group. Especially with the growing problem of predatory drugs or date rape drugs on college campuses, more students are finding themselves directly or indirectly affected by sexual assault crimes. To brush up on your street-smart knowledge of date rape drugs, here are some descriptions of the most commonly used predatory drugs on college campuses, and tips on how you can avoid them:
Rohypnol- Street names: roofies, forget-me-pill, or Mexican valium. Description: It is a colorless and tasteless tablet or liquid, and commonly slipped into drinks. Side effects: Produces amnesia, causing a victim to be unclear of what, if any, crime was committed.
GHB (gamma hydroxybutyric acid)- Street names: liquid ecstasy, G, easy lay, or homeboy. Description: Comes in liquid or powder form and flavoring is often added because it has a naturally salty taste. Side effects: Can cause drowsiness, dizziness, nausea, and visual problems. It can also cause memory problems, which could hinder legal prosecution.
Ketamine- Street names: Special K, K, cat valium. Description: Comes in liquid or powder form that looks like cocaine and can be smoked, injected, or put into drinks. Side effects: Can cause side effects similar to LSD or PCP, including euphoria and hallucinations. Other side effects also include unconsciousness, delirium, amnesia, depression, long-term memory loss, and sometimes fatal respiratory problems.
While it’s important to be aware of the different types of date rape drugs that are out there, also keep in mind that alcohol is the number one predatory drug in America, and the drug most commonly associated with sexual assault. To avoid getting drugged keep these precautionary tips in mind:
-Watch your drink and take it with you wherever you go
-Don’t drink from bottles being passed around
-Be wary of someone who keeps refilling your drink without your request
-Don’t accept drinks from a stranger
-Assign a designated sober person in the group
Check out www.girlsfightback.org for more info
By Lea Koveos
Sexual orientation can be defined as one’s feeling of attraction to others, which is then categorized by the sex of the person to whom one is attracted –i.e. heterosexual (attracted to the opposite sex); homosexual (attracted to the same sex); or bisexual (attracted to both genders). The factors that determine sexual orientation are complex and still unknown, but researchers speculate that it involves a mixture of biological and environmental factors. Drawing upon research from twin studies and chromosome analysis, the essentialist perspective suggests that sexual orientation is primarily genetically or biologically determined. However, keep in mind that children of homosexual parents are no more likely to become homosexual than children of heterosexual parents. The social constructivist perspective proposes that sexual orientation is determined by the environment; individuals living in an accepting environment are more likely to identify themselves as LGBTQ, while those individuals living in less accepting environments are less likely to disclose themselves. The interactionist perspective combines both theories and proposes that sexual orientation is likely formed by a combination of genetic influences and social environmental triggers. Regardless of what causes sexual orientation, the important thing to recognize is that sexual orientation is not a choice, nor can it be voluntarily changed.*
Check out www.apahelpcenter.org for more info
By Lea Koveos
“Coming out” is the process of acknowledging one’s sexual orientation to oneself and to others. It is considered a milestone in the lives of LGBTQ people because they can finally give voice to who they are. The coming out process is very personal and occurs in various ways and at different ages. Some individuals become aware of their sexual identity during childhood, while others acknowledge it later in life. Regardless of age, recognizing and accepting your sexual identity is the first step in coming out. Next, LGBTQ individuals typically decide to come out to a trusted family member or friend, and then come out to others. But, realistically, coming out is a never ending process because LGBTQ people must continuously decide whether to disclose themselves to every new person they meet. Like all major decisions in life, there are pros and cons to be weighed when deciding to come out. Some people are hesitant to come out in fear of rejection, discrimination, harassment, abuse, and a desire to protect loved ones from the stress that disclosure may cause. On the flip side, individuals who have come out reveal that they experience higher self-esteem, empowerment, and a sense of relief, because they can finally stop denying or hiding an important aspect of themselves. Coming out is also linked to psychological adjustment, freedom of self-expression, a positive self identity, and more honest and healthy relationships. Although coming out may be one of the most difficult tasks a person confronts, it can also be one of the most rewarding.
If you are thinking of coming out to others, consider the following
-Prepare what you want to say and select the time and place carefully.
-Be sensitive to what the other person is going through - the best time for you might not be the best time for someone else.
-Be prepared for initial negative reactions from some people. It took you a while to come to terms with your sexuality, so it’s important to give others the time they need.
-Have friends you can talk to later about what happened. Sometimes, it can be helpful to talk to a therapist.
-Don't give up hope if you don't receive the reaction you wanted. Some people need more time than others to come to terms with what they’ve heard.
Most importantly, do not to let your self-esteem depend entirely on the approval of others. You have the right to be who you are and you have the right to be open about your identity.
TRANSGENDER: A person who’s identity is not exclusively male or female, and who moves between these states despite the gender he/she was assigned at birth.
TRANSSEXUAL: A person who identifies as– and wishes to be accepted as– the sex opposite from what was assigned at birth; many times a transsexual person wishes to change his/her body.
INTERSEX: A term referring to a person who has biological characteristics of both males and females. Intersex people were once called “hermaphrodites,” but this term is uniformly inaccurate and has fallen out of favor.
MTF/M2F or TRANSWOMAN: a person who is male-bodied and female gendered.
FTM/F2M or TRANSMAN: a person who is female-bodied and male gendered.
OTHER TERMS: Gender-variant, gender-different, bi-gender, gender queer, multi-gendered, transgendered/”TG”, transgenderist
By Lea Koveos
Feeling uncomfortable with the gender one has been assigned at birth is known as gender dysphoria. Despite popular belief, one's sense of gender and one's anatomical sex are two distinct elements. As a result, an individual may have the anatomy of one sex but feels like a member of the opposite sex. The cause of gender dysphoria is unknown, but researchers speculate that it may be caused by genetic/chromosomal abnormalities, hormone imbalances during fetal and childhood development, problems in the individual's family interactions, or a combination of these factors. Gender dysphoria is a main factor in gender identity disorder, a condition characterized by a strong and persistent cross-gender identification, persistent discomfort with one’s assigned sex, and a significant amount of distress or impairment in the functioning of the individual because of these issues. In order to overcome this distress, many individuals take a number of steps to bring their body in line with their internal gender experience. They might begin by cross-dressing and adopting the mannerisms and behavior of the other sex. Next, via hormonal replacement therapy, they can eliminate undesired secondary sexual characteristics and enhance characteristics of the desired sex. In addition to hormonal treatment, sex reassignment surgery may be considered. Transition is the term used to describe the process of bringing the body in line with one’s internal gender experience, via surgery or hormones. However, due to the irreversible nature of surgery, candidates must be evaluated extensively by a team of health professionals, including psychologists, psychiatrists, medical doctors, and several surgical specialists. Additionally, individuals are required to spend a year living and working in the new gender role before evaluation for surgery is made. If you have gender dysphoria and are feeling distressed and confused by your situation, please feel free to make an appointment with us at Counseling Services where we can provide you with referrals to specialists who treat gender identity disorder, and also help you deal with any other issues you may have on your mind. You’re not alone! We’re here to help.
Check out www.transsexual.org for more info!
This is a good time to ask yourself– Do I practice safe and smart sex?.
The only truly “safe” sex is no sex at all…however, because the majority of college students are sexually active, it is important to know that “safer” sex can be achieved by always using protection. Both male and female condoms are still the best protection against STI’s and HIV.*
Consider the following suggestions on how to have safer sex:
-Use a condom for all types of sexual activity, at all times, with all partners.
-Talk to your partner about safer sex, STI/HIV testing, and the boundaries of your sexual relationship.
-Engage in sexual activities that do not necessarily involve intercourse
-If you have any suspicion that you or your partner may be infected, practice safer sex until you are absolutely sure.
-Do not share needles for drugs (in fact, don't do drugs!)
-Masturbation alone or with a partner is safe. Avoid any exchange of blood or body fluids, especially if there are any openings in the skin.
-Oral sex is safe only if both partners are free of STI’s and HIV.
-Do not share sex toys, and wash them with soap and water after each use.
PS: STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection) and STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease) are 2 terms for the same thing. STI is slightly more precise as it refers to the infection, the thing that needs to be prevented. The disease starts after a person has been infected.
* Check out www.sexualityandu.com for more information.
-written by Ashly Lawrence
Here’s a few Sexual Jeopardy warm-up questions! (Answers below)
1. Superbowl half-time shows have never been the same since this singer’s infamous “wardrobe malfunction.”
2. Sexual dysfunction is caused by 1 of 2 factors (or sometimes both).
3. True or false: there’s no such thing as a “mini” birth-control pill.
4. Lil’ Kim told us how many _____ are necessary to please your partner.
5. This famous sculpture by August Rodin was considered so scandalous at the 1893 Chicago World’s Fair that it was removed from public view.
1. Janet Jackson 2. Physical and/or emotional factors 3. True 4."Licks" 5."The Kiss"
By Ashly Lawrence
Developing healthy relationships takes time, effort, and energy, yet we do not always know when a relationship is healthy and when it isn’t. Take a minute to read over the following guidelines about healthy versus unhealthy relationships, and see how your relationship compares. If not, can improvements be made? If so, where? If not, it is time to think about ending this relationship?
Healthy signs
Respecting individuality and differences; allowing each partner to be him/herself
Doing things with friends and family and having activities that are independent of each other
Practicing safe sex with condoms
Sharing sexual histories with one another, without judgment or lies
Respecting sexual boundaries and being able to say no to sex
Trusting and being honest with yourself and each other
Unhealthy signs
Conforming to all of your partner’s expectations and losing a sense of “self”
Having no activities outside of the relationship and losing all other social contacts
Your partner refuses to wear condoms
Your partner is vague or refuses to share his/her sexual health history
You do not feel comfortable saying no when your partner initiates sex
Keeping secrets from your partner for fear that you may upset him/her*
*Check out www.smartersex.org & www.yourstdhelp.com for more information
By Ashly Lawrence
Symptoms will alert me that I have an STI.
Truth. The bad news is that there are often NO symptoms of STI’s (especially in the early stages of an infection). Not only can a person not tell if his/her partner has an STI, the person who has the STI is often not aware. That’s why regular testing for STI’s is so important for men and women.
Condoms will protect you from all STI’s.
Truth. Condoms protect you from STI’s transmitted through bodily fluids, such as HIV, but may not protect you from STI’s transmitted via skin contact, such as HPV (aka genital warts). Nevertheless, condoms offer the best protection against STI’s short of abstaining from sex.
I am not promiscuous and neither are the people I hang out with… it is unlikely that the people I sleep with would have an STI.
Truth. Are you 100% sure that none of your friends or sexual partners have STI’s? Statistically speaking, people ages 16-26 are at the most risk for contracting an STI. And FYI- women face increased risk in acquiring STI’s than men because their anatomy is more susceptible to outside infection. Contracting an STI occurs when you have sexual activity with someone who is already infected, and the more partners you have in life, the greater the chances are that you will contract an STI. Likewise, the more partners that your partner has had, the greater your partner’s chances of having an STI.*
Don’t have any condoms? You can always pick one up at Counseling Services or the Student Health Center for free!
*Check out www.smartersex.org & www.yourstdhelp.com for more information
By Lea Koveos- Depression can affect people in a number of different ways. Some individuals describe depression as a feeling of sadness, hopelessness, and despair. Others feel apathetic, irritated, or empty. It is important to keep in mind that symptoms can vary from person to person, and can fluctuate in severity over time. Below is a chart of the most common symptoms of depression:
1. What are the causes of depression?
Depression has no single cause, but may be attributed to a number of different factors. Depression is often related to chemical imbalances in the brain. Genetics also play a significant role in depression, making it inheritable from one generation to the next. Individuals with a pessimistic outlook and low self-esteem are also at a higher risk of becoming depressed. Additionally, significant traumas and life stressors, such as the death of a loved one or graduating from school can increase the likelihood of depression. Substance abuse, eating disorders, and anxiety also coincide with depression. Lastly, medical conditions such as cancer and heart disease can make individuals more susceptible to depression due to the stress and physical weakness they cause.
2. Who gets depression?
Women are almost twice as likely as men to become depressed, and men are less likely to seek treatment for it and often go undiagnosed. Furthermore, men are more likely to display hostile and angry behavior or to mask their depression with drugs/alcohol. Men with depression are also four times more likely than women to commit suicide. In general, individuals who are isolated and lack social support are more likely to become depressed. Individuals who have had an episode of depression before or have a family history of depression are also at an increased risk. Additionally, research shows that people with lower levels of income, education, and occupational status face many stressors that likely contribute to depression.
3. How is depression treated?
Fortunately, depression is very treatable! No two cases of depression are the same, so treatment will vary amongst individuals.. Antidepressant medications are one form of treatment and are prescribed based on the pattern of depression, its severity, and symptoms. . Mental health professionals also treat depression by helping people modify thoughts and behaviors that trigger depression. In therapy, one will receive assistance in understanding what may be contributing to their depression, and will be taught how to manage it. Additionally, one will learn how to cope with negative feelings, identify and change distorted thinking patterns, and learn how to handle problems constructively. A number of alternative therapies have also shown to be effective in treating depression including acupuncture, dietary supplements, and exercise. Always consult with a doctor or mental health professional before beginning treatment for depression!
By Lea Koveos- People who are suffering from depression are at a greater risk for suicide. It’s important to keep this fact in mind if you or someone you know is depressed. Furthermore, suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death amongst college students (after accidents). Luckily, suicide prevention is possible. In fact, most people contemplating suicide give warning signs. Those signs include…
Talking about suicide or making a plan.
Constantly thinking or talking about death.
Making statements like, "It would be better if I wasn't here" or "Soon I won’t be a problem for you anymore.”
Writing essays, poems or drawings that refer to death.
Having no hope for the future and seeing no reason for living.
Withdrawing from friends, family and activities.
Giving away favorite belongings or putting affairs in order.
Sudden improvement in mood and increased energy after experiencing a depression
Low self esteem -- feeling worthless, hopeless, and helpless.
Loosing interest in personal appearance.
Extravagant spending.
Having weapons or means to inflict self-harm
Increased alcohol or drug use.
Extreme changes in personality and behavior
Having a "death wish," by taking unnecessary risks that could lead to death.
If you (or someone you know) are thinking about suicide, please get help.
Set up an appointment at Counseling Services, and we will help you through this difficult time.
As always, if you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 911.
Education and awareness are essential in treating mental illness and preventing suicide. Fortunately, Columbia College has a very creative program called Making Connections, which provides students, faculty, and staff with tools to reach out to those who might be struggling. Making Connections began in 2002 when money was donated to Columbia College in memory of Shannon Hardy, a young dancer who took her own life. Susan Imus, Chair of Columbia's Dance/Movement Therapy and Counseling Department, used these funds to teach life skills and empathy as tools to prevent suicide. She began what is now Making Connections in local middle and high schools.
In September of 2005, Columbia College was one of 22 national colleges to receive a monetary grant for suicide prevention. Shannon Lengerich, now the Program Director of the Campus Suicide Prevention Program (and a dance/movement therapist), is spearheading this effort. Making Connections is being taken to residence halls, classrooms, and campus organizations. The program is based on the philosophy of A.C.T., which stands for Acknowledge, Care, and Tell.
Making Connections blends movement and discussion to:
Making Connections is an interactive exploration that enhances verbal and nonverbal communication, as well as awareness of the warning signs of suicide. Techniques are taught to help people recognize warning signs in themselves and others. Specific situations and examples are given in the workshop to help students and faculty feel empowered to take action in suicide prevention. The workshop also emphasizes how people can get involved and use Columbia's resources to help themselves and others.
The workshop is available to all Columbia students, faculty and staff. We strongly encourage you to participate in Making Connections. For more information, look for flyers in the residence halls or contact Shannon Lengerich at 312-344-8597. You can also send her an email at: slengerich@colum.edu.
On October 31st, 2007, Counseling Services and Residence Life will be hosting a panel to educate students on relationship violence. The panel will take place from noon-1pm in the main lounge (the "court" on the 1st floor) at 731 S. Plymouth Court. Please come to this event if you or someone you know is experiencing relationship violence; even if this subject doesn't directly affect you, come to the panel and educate yourself on how to build healthy relationships!
Here are a few questions to test your knowledge about relationship violence:
1. True or False: Violence is rare amongst college students and educated people.
2. True of False: The best way to get a friend to leave an abusive relationship is to "cut ties" with them.
3. True or False: If violence occurs once in a dating relationship, it is likely to happen again.
Answer to #1: False. Dating and domestic violence is common among all people- rich, poor, Black, White, Asian, Latino, etc.
Answer to #2: False. This has the opposite effect. Someone who is being abused in a relationship needs outside support and is very unlikely to leave that relationship unless they have support from family and friends.
Answer to #3: True. If violence occurs in a dating relationship, it is likely to happen again.
By Rose Sterling
It often happens that people who might benefit from counseling don’t seek help, and there are hundreds of reasons why this might be the case. However, for individuals who are in the cultural minority of this country, this issue is much more complex. Mistrust and even fear may prevent some cultural groups from seeking counseling. Some of the common misconceptions minority groups harbor consist of a mistrust for non-same race counselors, fear of being reported to authority members, and fear of being labeled as “crazy”.
The counseling profession is well aware of these important concerns and has taken steps to address these issues. Investing money toward educational counseling resources for clients and the community, increasing cultural sensitivity training programs, and hiring more diverse counseling staff members are just some of the ways the profession has responded to these issues. Furthermore, in 1992 the American Counseling Association adopted the Multicultural Counseling Competencies and Standards, which outlines they ways in which counselors should adopt a multicultural perspective in their everyday work. A multicultural perspective is one we uphold here at Counseling Services, because it allows us to:
•Acknowledge and appreciate cultural diversity
•Never make assumptions about an individual based solely on their cultural background
•Incorporate culturally sensitive counseling methods to suit the client’s needs
•Continue to educate ourselves and others on multiculturalism
•Continue to be an advocate for culturally diverse groups
•Support our diverse student body!
By Rose Sterling
- Maintain a vision of a global community and recognize your responsibility within the community.
- Be actively interested in learning about other cultures. The office of Multicultural Affairs at Columbia College offers several multicultural resources, such as African American Affairs, GLBT Support, Latino Cultural Affairs, and Asian Cultural Affairs. These offices often host special events, too!
- Accept every culture for its own unique qualities.
- Continue to develop and grow through interacting with the differences of others.
Myth #1: Only Caucasians commit suicide.
Myth #2: Women of color are “immune” to developing eating disorders.
Myth # 3: Homosexuality was once considered a mental illness by the psychiatric profession.
By Ashly Lawrence
One of the best ways to learn is to travel, so let’s give a warm welcome to the many international students who have come from afar to study at Columbia! When a student leaves his /her own country to study abroad, an adjustment period is a normal part of learning to live within that new country and culture. This feeling of newness (or anxiety) can be called “culture shock” and nearly everyone goes through it when entering a new culture. Culture shock typically causes anxiety and stress, but be on the lookout for these additional symptoms:
• Extreme Homesickness
• Avoidance of new social situations
• Physical illness and sleep disruption, fatigue
• Depression and feelings of loneliness
• Difficulty concentrating on schoolwork
• Loss of usual sense of humor/ laughter
Come see us in Counseling Services if you are feeling overwhelmed by culture shock! You have embarked upon a great journey, and we’d like to help you make the best of your time in the United States!
Admit that you feel homesick. Your entire environment and routine have changed– that’s a big adjustment! Homesickness is a natural response to this sense of loss.
Talk about it. Be open and honest with others about how you are feeling. Talk with a parent, older sibling, friend, or upper-classmen who may have experienced these feelings themselves.
Bring a sense of home to your new environment. Photos, plants, and artwork (even those old 98 Degrees posters from middle school, if you must) from home can add a sense of familiarity and ease the shock of your new world.
Become familiar with surroundings. Walk around and explore campus buildings, campus resources, and Chicago. You will feel more in control of your environment once it is familiar to you.
Invite others to explore your new surroundings with you. Making a friend and establishing a connection right away help to reduce feelings of homesickness and loneliness.
Set realistic expectations. When everything is new, we cannot expect to be “perfect.” Be patient with yourself and learn to laugh at your mistakes. Hey, we ‘re all human!
Write/e-mail/ call home to report about your new activities and experiences. Let friends and family know that you would like to hear from them often as well.
Set a date right off the bat to go home and visit. Planning ahead may help reduce feelings of homesickness.
Be proactive! Do not wait for these feelings to go away and do not try to stuff them down. Often times, hidden feelings resurface later on and in negative ways.
Check out new opportunities. Use this new environment and time to get involved in groups and organizations that you have never encountered before!*
If you are still having trouble with homesickness and adjustment to college life, make an appointment at Counseling Services to talk to somebody!
*Check out www.uwec.edu/counsel/pubs/homesick.htm for more on homesickness.
By Katy Hartnett
Myth #1: You are forced to lie on a couch.
Fact: The days of lying on a couch while a bearded, antiquated Sigmund Freud- looking man asks you about your dreams are over. In fact, we have a very modern new office located at 731 S. Plymouth Court.
Myth #2: Counselors are supposed to give you advice.
Fact: Surprise! We are not going to tell you what to do. We figure you probably have enough people in your own life doing that already . We want to help you figure out how to live your life better and empower you to make your own decisions.
Myth #3: Counseling is only for people with "issues."
Fact: Counseling is not just for people in crisis or those with mental health concerns. In addition to working with students with depression, anxiety, adjustment issues, or relational problems, we encourage students to use Counseling Services to help build self esteem, manage performance anxiety, understand the connection between their craft and their life experiences or handle criticism of creative work. Basically, anything you can think of to talk about, we are here to listen.
Here in Counseling Services, none of us look like this guy!
By Katy Hartnett
Psychiatrist: A psychiatrist is a medical doctor specializing in mental health who treats patients by prescribing medication. A psychiatrist may also provide counseling services.
Psychologist: A psychologist provides counseling services and performs psychological testing. A psychologist holds a doctoral degree and will sometimes be called "doctor," but cannot prescribe medication by law.
Counselor/Therapist/Social Worker: A therapist provides psychological counseling and/or community outreach services. A therapist will have a Masters degree in Counseling Psychology, Social Work or other related field. If a therapist holds a Masters of Psychology or related field, the license is called an LCPC (Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor). If a therapist holds a Masters of Social Work, the license is called an LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker). The license is earned upon successful completion of at least two years of full-time supervised counseling experience and a statewide licensing exam.
Clinical Intern: A clinical intern is completing the final year of study towards their Masters degree. Clinical interns are supervised by a licensed counseling professional, either an LCPC or an LCSW.
By Katy Hartnett
INTAKE: The first appointment is called an intake session. First, you will be asked to fill out paperwork with basic personal information as well as a description of why you have come to counseling. A therapist will meet you in the waiting room and take you into an office for the session. The therapist will gather background information and gain an understanding of what has brought you to counseling.
FIRST SESSION: The therapist may continue the intake from the intake session or get right into the work.
A few more things to take note of:
*Currently enrolled students are eligible to receive 10 free sessions of counseling per academic year.
*The Counseling Services staff has expanded to 8 therapists.
*All sessions are kept confidential, with a few exceptions; your therapist will explain these exceptions to you during the intake appointment
*Sessions are about 45 minutes and appointments are scheduled as needed. (weekly, biweekly, monthly)
It's a time for mixed emotions; your son or daughter, who you've raised for the past 18 years, is getting ready to move away from home and begin college. You may be a mixture of proud, joyful, sad, and nervous. In light of this, Counseling Services has some tips for parents as they negotiate this transition.
If you would like a copy of "A Guideline for Parents:What Parents Can Expect When Their Children Begin College Life," e-mail raronson@colum.edu and we'll send you this document. This document is in Power Point format and is roughly 6MB.
Good luck to you and your Columbia student!
By Jill Gordon
The tradition of college drinking has developed into a culture with beliefs and customs. These customs are handed down through generations of college students, which reinforce students’ expectations that alcohol is a necessary ingredient for fun and social success. Students derive their expectations of alcohol from their environment and from each other’s insecurity of establishing themselves in a new social setting. Drinking in college is often viewed as a rite of passage, as a part of having fun, and of lowering inhibitions. Of course, a person does not have to drink in order to have fun and meet new people.
Although drinking is common on college campuses, there are many students who do not drink. Here are some tips to keep in mind:*
- Check out the clubs and organizations that Columbia has to offer. You may be surprised to find out how many people are involved in extracurricular activities other than the “Drinking Team.”
-Don’t go out with people who make you feel uncomfortable if you’re not drinking. Make plans with friends who are less inclined to make alcohol a social priority.
-Save cash by not spending it to get wasted. Instead, put that money in a jar that can be put towards something you didn’t think you could afford such as dinner out with friends, new jeans, or towards a trip.
-Try something new! Do something healthy with your time such as beginning a new exercise regimen, taking up yoga, walking around and exploring the city, or trying a new art or cooking class.
-If you’re out and feeling self-conscious because everyone is drinking, order a “virgin” (non-alcoholic) cocktail. That way, you can blend in without getting wasted.
April is Alcohol Awareness Month. Concerned about your consumption? Counseling Services can help! Call us at 312-344-8700. Remember that drinking under the age of 21 is illegal. If you are caught with possession of alcohol or buying alcohol for a minor, serious consequences can occur!
*See www.collegedrinkingprevention.gov for more info.
By Jill Gordon
How can you tell whether you may have a drinking problem? Answer the following questions to find out:*
1. Have you ever felt you should cut down on your drinking?
2. Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?
3. Have you ever felt bad or guilty about your drinking?
4. Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning to get rid of a hangover?
5. Is your drinking getting in the way of your school, work, or relationships?
If you answered yes to 1 or more of the above you may have an alcohol problem.
Alcoholism, also known as “alcohol dependence” is a disease that includes 4 symptoms below:
1. Craving- a strong need or compulsion to drink
2. Loss of control- the inability to limit one’s drinking on any given occasion
3. Physical dependence- withdrawal symptoms, such as shaking or sweating, that occur when alcohol use is stopped after a period of heavy drinking
4. Tolerance- needing to drink greater amounts of alcohol in order to get a “buzz”.
Schedule an appointment with one of the professionals at Counseling Services to discuss these concerns and determine the best course of action.
PS– It’s true; friends don’t let friends drive drunk. If you know you are going to be drinking, take cabs or public transportation instead of driving. In the USA, the maximum legal blood alcohol concentration is 0.08%, and if you are caught driving under the influence of alcohol, you can face jail, expensive fines, and loss of driving privileges.
Be smart– don’t drink and drive.
*See www.collegedrinkingprevention.gov for more info.
By Jill Gordon
Myth: I can drink and still be in control.
Fact: Drinking impairs your judgment, which increases the likelihood that you may do something you’ll later regret- such as having unprotected sex, being involved in date rape, damaging property, or being victimized by others.
Myth: Drinking isn’t all that dangerous.
Fact: One in three 18-24 year olds admitted to the ER for serious injuries is intoxicated. Alcohol is associated with homicides, suicides, and drownings.
Myth: I’d be better off if I learned to “hold my liquor”.
Fact: If you have to drink increasingly larger amounts of alcohol to get a buzz or high, you are developing tolerance. Tolerance is actually a warning sign that you’re developing a more serious problem with drinking.
Myth: Each time you drink alcohol, you kill10,000 brain cells.
Fact: It is unlikely that a single drink will kill brain cells. However, long-term, chronic drinking can cause permanent memory loss and brain damage.
Myth: Getting drunk will help you perform better sexually.
Fact: While alcohol consumption may loosen your sexual inhibitions, heavy alcohol use can cause impotence in men and decreased vaginal or clitoral sensations in women. The phrase “let’s get drunk and screw” only works in the Jimmy Buffet song!*
*See www.collegedrinkingprevention.gov for more info.
By Ann Mantovani
I am too fat.
I am too skinny.
I'd be happier if I were taller.
I wish I had smaller thighs, or more muscular arms.
Do any of these statements sound familiar? All too often we put ourselves down when we look in the mirror. It seems so easy to accentuate every tiny imperfection we notice in our bodies. Body image is a major issue in today's world. A recent survey found that 56% of women and 40% of men were dissatisfied with their overall appearance. How can we improve how we perceive our bodies?
Our family, friends, and images in the media affect our body image and self-esteem. Self-esteem is all about how much people value themselves and how worthwhile they feel. One's body image can greatly influence one's overall self-esteem. Unfortunately, negative comments and hurtful teasing about the way a person looks can influence and distort his or her healthy body image.
Some people think that changing the way they look will make them feel better about themselves. Actually, the key is to change the way you perceive your own body.
Tips for improving your body image:*
-Stop talking critically about your body; be realistic about what you can and cannot change.
-Accentuate the qualities you admire in yourself, both internal and external.
-Dress comfortably and dress to express yourself (not to impress others!).
-Meeting a challenge you set for yourself is a sure way to boost self-esteem.
* Check out www.something-fishy.org and www.kidshealth.com for more info on eating disorders
By Ann Mantovani
The media is filled with pictures of extremely thin celebrities and models. Unfortunately the images often persuade consumers to feel that their body is not good enough and leads to unhealthy and unrealistic goals. The overall standard of beauty is skewed when the average female model weighs 25% less than the regular population, and carries a body mass index 15-20% below what would be considered medically healthy.* The media's skewed standards of beauty cannot cause an eating disorder, but exposure to idealized thinness only increases the risk for someone with a predisposition to eating disorders. Doctors believe that eating disorders stem from the combination of environment and genetics.
It is important to remember that beauty is a learned concept, and the cultural norm of what is attractive changes over time. The media and diet industry set the standard of beauty in today's society; they are selling us dissatisfaction with our bodies to make a profit. Furthermore, don't forget that models are often made-up and airbrushed to "perfection!" The bodies featured in the media can also be enhanced and altered by computer techniques, body doubles, and combining different people to make the "perfect image." Fake as they are, these images greatly effect society's health and self-image. Empower yourself by thinking more critically about what you see.
* See www.something-fishy.org and www.kidshealth.com for more info on eating disorders
If you or someone you know displays some (or all) of these signs, consider coming to Counseling Services for help:
1. Dramatic weight loss in a short amount of time
2. Obsessions of weight loss, calories, and fat content in food
3. Obsessive exercise, such as exercising 7 days a week for hours on end
4. Unusual food rituals or hiding food
5. Visible food restriction, self-starvation, or binging and vomiting
6. Chronic dieting, or thinking that life will improve with weight loss
7. Powerful negative thoughts about the self after eating food*
* Check out www.something-fishy.org and www.kidshealth.com for more info on eating disorders
By Ann Mantovani
MYTH: The more you cut calories the more weight you lose.
TRUTH: That can actually hurt you. If you cut calories too far (below 1200 per day) your metabolism and muscle mass decrease in order to preserve energy. Not to mention, you risk fainting spells due to low blood sugar, vitamin deficiency, and malnutrition.
MYTH: Carbs make you fat.
TRUTH: You need carbohydrates for energy. Carbs are the body's best source of energy. Short term effects of low-carb diets are fatigue, constipation and irritability. Long term effects include heart disease and colon cancer. Choose healthy, fiber-rich foods like whole grains, vegetables and fruits.
MYTH: Dairy makes you fat.
TRUTH: Quite the opposite!!! Dairy ishigh in calcium and can help maintain healthy body weight and slow weight gain. Stick to the government's latest guidelines of 3 servings of low-fat dairy every day.
MYTH: Eating after 8:00pm makes you gain weight.
TRUTH: It does not matter what time of day you eat. Instead spread out your meals and snacks throughout the dayto avoid feeling starved. It is the total amount of food and physical activity that determines weight gain or loss.
MYTH: One can never over-exercise.
TRUTH: Compulsive exercise is a disorder and can have serious physical and emotional effects. It is an addiction if you prioritize it over other areas of your life; feeling anxious or guilty when you are unable to exercise is a sign it may be a problem .
MYTH: Everyone can be "model-skinny" if they diet and exercise hard enough.
TRUTH: Everybody's baseline size is different, due to genetics, metabolism, and bone structure. Find your ideal healthy body weight by eating sensibly, enjoying physical activity, and consulting with a professional nutritionist. Accept your body as beautiful for what it allows you to accomplish every day!*
* Check out www.health.com and www.weightloss.about.com for more info on dieting myths.
By Katy Hartnett
Being sexually responsible encompasses many things. Making a responsible decision requires individuals and couples to clarify their values, to determine what they are and are not comfortable with, to become aware of the consequences of sexual behavior, and to discuss these issues with their partners. Here are some questions* to ask yourself and your partner as a guide in making decisions about sexual activity:
-What are my feelings about sex? My beliefs?
-With whom do I want to have sex and why?
- What questions or hesitations do I have?
-What do I want to do sexually?
-Do I feel ready?
-What are my partners feelings?
-What do I expect to gain or lose through sex?
-Am I being pressured to have sex? Where are those pressures coming from?
-What problems do I expect sex to solve in my life?
-Are there other people's feelings that are important? Who are those other people and why are their feelings important?
-In what kind of relationship would sexual involvement be comfortable or ok with me?
-What are the risks? What steps can I take to reduce those risks?
*Source: http://www.healthed.msu.edu/fact/sexual_responsibility_1.shtml
By Katy Hartnett
Take a second and think about the relationship you're in, and ask yourself- is this relationship healthy? Using the guide below, assess your current or past relationships based on the 4 key principles of respect, honesty, trust, and communication.* Reflect upon how well these 4 principles describe your current (or past) relationship .
Respect: Respect provides the foundation of a healthy relationship. This includes both respect for each individual and for the couple as a whole. Respect in a partnership involves each person learning about the other and valuing what is important to him or her.
Honesty: True honesty about our thoughts and feelings can be a challenge to accomplish, but it's also very effective and necessary, especially in a sexual, romantic relationship.
Trust: Trusting someone means you can count on them to be there for you. Trust does not always come easy and usually takes time to build. Promises should not be taken lightly, because there is nothing worse than a broken promise to take away trust.
Communication: Communication is critical to the other three ingredients, as it is how we show our respect, honesty, and trust. Listening to others and really "hearing them" is a sign of strong communication skills.
*Check out our source for more information on this subject: http://www.smartersex.org
By Katy Hartnett
At Columbia College, February is Sexual Responsibility Month! Start off the new year by asking yourself this question- How safe am I when it comes to my sex life? Here are some handy tips* to help you assess what you are doing right...or wrong!!
1. Talk smart sex first. Have smart sex later. If you are uncomfortable talking about sex, you probably shouldn't be having it! It's much easier to talk reasonably and rationally about sex before the heat of the moment.
2. Fortify against pregnancy and STI's! To help prevent pregnancy and STI's, two forms of birth control provide double the protection. Combining the birth control pill with condoms is one way to do this.
3. Don't feel pressured to have sex. It may seem like everyone is doing it, but if you don't want to have sex, stay true to yourself and be upfront with your partner.
4. Don't use alcohol or drugs if you think things could get physical. Drug and/or alcohol use interferes with decision making and lowers inhibitions. Drugs and alcohol may make you think you'll enjoy sex more, but they typically lead to less enjoyment for both men and women.
5. Be prepared for a sex emergency. Both men an women are equally responsible for preventing pregnancy and STI's and both should carry condoms. Carry extra condoms in case of an emergency, and explore your options regarding emergency contraception.
6. Make sexual health a priority. Whether you are having sex or not, both men and women need to have regular checkups to make sure they are sexually healthy. College students are in a high risk group for STI's, so make an appointment today!
*Check out our source for more information on this subject: http://www.smartersex.org
February is special month- not just because of Valentine's Day! In February, we also celebrate Black History Month. In honor of their important contributions to the field of psychology, Counseling Services would like to remember Doctors Kenneth and Mamie Clark, a husband and wife team who were the first African-Americans to receive doctorates in Psychology in the 1940's. Their work on the devastating psychological effects of racism and segregation helped overturn school segregation. Also noteworthy was their work with black children and black self-perception.
Drs. Kenneth and Mamie Clark
By Jill Gordon
Do you "go blank" during exams? Find yourself thinking "I can't do this" or "I'm stupid?" Do you score much lower on tests than on papers or homework? If you answered yes to any of these, you may be experiencing test anxiety.
Many college students deal with this. You may ask yourself "What is test anxiety?" Anxiety is a form of the "fight or flight" response when the body and mind become aroused and either prepare for attack or prepare to escape from a threat. Test anxieties are responses specific to situations in which you are being observed or evaluated by others (such as teachers). With test anxiety, the biggest threat is the possibility of failure and loss of esteem. Depending on the severity of your test anxiety it may interfere with your ability to actually perform the act of taking the test. Test anxiety is a form of performance anxiety. Performance anxiety is a feeling you might have in a situation where performance really counts or when the pressure is on to do well. For example, some students experience severe anxiety when they are expected to speak or present in front of others. If you experience test or performance anxiety you are not alone. In fact, most athletes and artists experience performance anxiety at some point in their careers. With finals approaching, it is important to be able to check in with yourself and see how you are managing your anxiety and stress so that you are able to "put your best foot forward."
Here are some tips to help manage test anxiety:
-Be well prepared for the test.
-Think Positively, for example, "I can do well on this exam."
-Speak with your instructor and ask him/her for recommendations that might help.
-Get a good nights sleep before the day of the test.
-Stop and breathe deeply if you feel overwhelmed.
-Read test instructions and questions carefully.
-When the exam is over, treat yourself!
-Seek guidance from a therapist at Counseling Services if you can't reduce test anxiety on your own.
By Jill Gordon
The likelihood that everyone will experience stress at some points in their lives is inevitable. The crucial piece of the puzzle is how you respond to the stress. Keep in mind that what works for your roommate, friend, or sibling may not work for you. Here are some suggestions to help you respond to stress in a healthier way.
Identify the stressor - for example, take a look at what is going on in your life that could be causing you stress
Strategize - decide what you can do to eliminate, decrease, or cope with the stressor. Then put your plan into action.
Prioritize - Figure what can be put aside and what needs to be done more immediately.
Use time management skills - set limits on what needs to be done, try using a planner or calendar to schedule classes, work, homework, and "me time."
Remember to take care of yourself.
Here are some known stress-relievers:
* Exercise- it releases stress from the body
* Breathing exercises- deep breathing is the foundation of relaxation!
* Meditation, yoga
* Listening to music
* Engaging in a hobby
* Laughing
* Talking with a friend
* Writing in a journal
* Get a massage
* Talk to a professional: Call Counseling Services at 312-344-8700 for an appointment.
By Jill Gordon
We all feel it, can name it, and express it to our friends, but what is stress?
Stress is the result of coping with life's daily demands, and the major cause of stress is change and fear of the unknown.
The good news: Not all stress is bad! Without some stress, our lives would be boring. Stress is your body's defense, responding to threats. The bad news: Too much stress can lead to emotional, mental and physical health problems. Some of these problems include headaches, backaches, stomach-aches, muscle tension, difficulty sleeping, irritability, anxiety, and depression.
Reality check: It is normal to feel stress and stress is very common in college students. You are dealing with a lot! Test anxiety, roommate issues, mid-terms, finals, relationships, parents, work, and other school responsibilities are just a few things that may be stressing you out. Stress is a normal part of life. The sooner you learn how to manage it, the better off you'll be!
By Ann Mantovani
Myth: Suicidal people want to die.
Fact: Even the most severely depressed person is ambivalent about death fluctuating between wanting to live and wanting to die. Generally, they do not want death: they want the pain to stop.
Myth: If you talk to someone about suicide you may trigger them to do it.
Fact: Talking about suicide does not make anyone any more suicidal. Acknowledging the problems is the first step in solving them. Your expression of concern may help them feel better about themselves.
Myth: Once someone improves, the risk of suicide goes away.
Fact: Most suicides occur within 3 months of improvement, when the person has enough energy to put the thoughts into action. It is important to be especially vigilant during this time.
Myth: Suicide is just a way to get attention.
Fact: Suicide is about emotional pain and the inability to see an alternative way. Attention is not the goal of suicide, it is about stopping the pain.
Myth: Suicide happens without warning.
Fact: Almost everyone who attempts or commits suicide has given some clue. No matter how casual or joking it may seem, do not ignore suicide threats. The following are warning signs that someone may be thinking about suicide:
-Threatening or talking about wanting to hurt or kill him/herself; preoccupation with death
-Noticeable changes in behavior such as talking about death or saying goodbye
-Looking for ways to hurt or kill him/herself by seeking access to firearms, pills, or other means
-Intense emotional state; angry outburst, impulsive behavior, and/or rage.
-Deterioration of normal functioning; grades slipping, problems sleeping
-A precipitating event such as a break-up, loss of someone close, or being cut from a team
If you're concerned that you or someone you know may be at risk for suicide, we strongly encourage you to do one of the following:
-Contact Counseling Services: 312-344-8700
-Contact Resident Assistance if you are a resident on campus
-Call 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) the National Suicide Prevention Hotline
-Call 911 if danger is imminent; also, go to the nearest emergency room if this is a safe, viable option.
By Rebecca Aronson
In a nutshell, here's how art, dance, music, and drama contribute to the world of therapy:
Art therapy: Since the 1940's, professional art therapists use the drawings, paintings, and sculptures of children and adults as a vehicle for understanding mental states. Art therapists are trained to analyze clients' artwork as non-verbal communications of emotional states.
Psychodrama: Founded in 1942 by Dr. J.L. Moreno, psychodrama uses theatrical techniques such as role-playing and creating specific scenes to facilitate therapy. Psychodrama is especially powerful as group therapy, and can also help to shed light on group dynamics.
Music Therapy: The healing powers of music were noted when musicians would visit veterans in the hospital after World Wars I and II and, since then, music therapists use music to help clients achieve mental well-being. Music therapists assess clients' reactions via music listening, performing, improvisation, and lyric-writing.
Dance/movement therapy: Marian Chace, a modern dancer in the 1930's, pioneered the idea that dance/movement can further a person's emotional well-being. The movement of the body is seen as crucial to understanding a person's emotional and cognitive functioning.
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